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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?